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Jacko51

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Just been to Tesco, it was nuts.They had no toilet paper at all. Reluctantly I headed for the checkout and asked if they had any. A firm NO was the answer.

Walking back to the toilets with my pants and trousers around my ankles was a walk I never want to do again.😂

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The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semifinalists: a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was "Timbuktu".

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:

Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination---Timbuktu.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a-huntin went,
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
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Don't go to the pub. Don't meet up with your friends. Don't come home with an infection. Honestly, Boris Johnson is starting to sound like my wife

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Man goes down to the George and Dragon for a lunch time drink but it's not open so he knocks on the door, an uptsairs window opens and a female leans out and shout's what the f do you want?, the man replies, is George in please.

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