OVF Consortium

[zaza123]

I want some golden shares. Don't tell anybody though. We can just keep it between ourselves. Don't worry, the suckers who have bought shares have only donated them, they won't actually want to vote on stuff.

[IGentleman]

I know a bloke who apparently knows of a bloke who some say actually knows a bloke ... with a ball.

[Bycarsbill]

Why don't we put a consortium together?

 

Call it something snappy like Valiant, er, 2012?!

 

We could sell shares at maybe £4 a pop, then the fans would really have a say.

 

I know a couple of blokes in Birmingham who'd give us a payday loan (£9999 apr).

 

I'm sure Staffordshire Moorlands District Council would stump of for a loan of a couple of million too. Burslem may not be in their area, but I know a Vale fan from Leek, so surely that counts?!

 

I've also heard that American Synthetic Turf companies are looking for clubs to show off their products - I'm booking the plane ticket as I type!

 

Who's with me?

 

You're wasted on here Memphis--you should be writing for the new satirical TV show that's going to be called; "That was the week that was"!!

[Yukon]

I could live in a caravan.

 

I was going to say that- *******!

 

I could bully old folk- who wants the cornetto eating job?

 

Plus, since I believe myself to be the son of god, sent from heaven to protect Port Vale from the likes of you lot, I believe myself to an ideal candidate.

 

(I'm so happy this thread isn't serious- I nearly shat myself when I saw it!)

[Marge56]

I will work day and night.................................................... :D

[1]

I'm submitting my request to purchase 100,000 nil paid shares. Don't let the fact that it's written in crayon on the back of a cracker put you off. It's vitally important that we protect our club from millionaire investors in order to secure the next scanty decade of league two obscurity.

 

I'll text you an official club statement when the deal is done.

[1]

Substitute the online forum with a group email and you source the birth place of V2001.

[carpetman123]

My Uncle who has senile dementia mentioned last night that he would make a great chairman....so when I confirmed it with him this morning...he did'nt know anything about it!!

[Harriet's Dad.]

I'd be very interested in joining the new board, possibly in the role of Chief Executive. I'm pondering a similiar job offer in Kent, but should be able to give you a straight yes or no by the end of the week. I'm out of the office at the moment on a works jolly at Crewe Hall. Laura's birthday. I wouldn't mind but I only met the girl the other day and it's daft old me paying the bill. Call me after 3pm. Mwah. X

[Birdy]

I will appoint myself as manager against the wishes of 95% of the fan base and give my eight year old son a two year contract and no one else.

[Bede]

I'll die my hair and wear loud pastel shirts and mince about lying to suppliers to blag unrealistic deals.

 

I'll also proposition female staff into sleeping with me for promotions.

[Robbie Earle's Perm]

I'll die my hair and wear loud pastel shirts and mince about lying to suppliers to blag unrealistic deals.

 

I'll also proposition female staff into sleeping with me for promotions.

 

Whatever floats your boat!!

 

Just make sure it's not a purple rinse as purple rinses as we all know are rediculous on Chairmen :D

[PvfcButler]

I'll pay for my shares in IOU's.

[valeblue]

I've persuaded Winfields of Woolworths fame to do our new kits , and struck a 5 million pound deal with a Mexican bread company to sponser them!

[IGentleman]

I know a bloke who apparently knows of a bloke who some say actually knows a bloke ... with a ball.

 

That was a dead end. Turns out the 'bloke' was Mike Lloyd and he says he "hasn't got any balls".

 

On a brighter note, I met another bloke who says he has some stuff that looks like grass but doesn't need cutting. Would you like some? (reckons he wants to give you five million quid as well, careful, he has an American accent)