Local food hygiene ratings.

[aspins-revenge]

Episode 6:

 

Citizen Carl is very hungry and in pain. Farage has been elected and all of the immigrants have gone home and there's been no-one to harvest the crops, prepare the food, or sell it in local shops. There's only Marks and Spencer left and they're owned by Jews. Further, now that Mr Singh and all the other 'foreigners' have left the UK, there's only three people skilled enough to work in the NHS, so getting an appointment for a prostate follow up is taking longer than it used to. Citizen Carl looks forlornly at the pile of Kool and the Gang records in the corner and wishes he allowed himself to play them. Still, at least there's the telly to watch, but not that BBC, what with all that PC brigade and lefty nonsense. Besides, it's a colour TV, and Citizen Carl doesn't like things coloured. At least black and white telly's are alright half of the time he thinks. He pours a glass of Guinness, being sure to drink only the top bit, and settles down for a night of Bruce Forsyth and SkrewDriver. Bliss. The episode fades to grey.

[carl]

EPISODE 7

 

How about Farage has been elected - some of the immigrants have gone home (never to return except if they have the desired skills ect) the immigrants that stay can stay on condition they pay into the system whilst those that have been here for less than five years have t pay into the pot. If they become illl they take out private healthcare until they pay enough into the system.

 

With the monies saved people who pay into the system have cheaper NHS parking charges due to taxes from Private healthcare, and those jobs which require harvesting and working in shops are paid at a 'living wage' thus bringing down the benfits bill.

 

Citizen carl and co benefits from having frozen or reduced utility bills due to abolishing subsidies, better access to NHS and better wages - better intergration and more access to housing. More policing on the streets less criminals and better room in our prisons.

 

Locally citizen carl can choose between a statue of a large kiln in the city centre or improvement in our local leisure facilities ect ect

 

 

 

The skill shortages are reduced and the whole economy can prosper.

[Yukon]

And later that day in ga-ga land (or is tat bongo bongo land?)...

[aspins-revenge]

Episode 7:

 

Following Farage's election, other European countries follow suit and expel a total of 5 million British ex-pats of mainly non-working pensionable age. They return to the UK and place a massive burden on the state and the countries infrastructure. Citizen Carl now feels comfortable to walk down to the post office but finds it clogged with sun tanned oldies and so can't buy a stamp with the Queen's head on. Although, since she has been expelled for being a German benefits claimant, the post office don't sell them anymore. Still, the racists are happy, because like their brains,the country, is now at a stand still. Citizen Carl can't watch the television anymore because there's not enough electricity to go around. Episode 8 remains 'in the making'.

[JOHNNYAITCH]

Episode 8:

 

Citizen Carl has grown very fat on Guinness heads and proper English food (chips). He lives in total darkness a lot of the time what with the lecy companies being foreign owned. Same goes for his heating..not going to pay money to those pesky Russian gas companies. And don't mention the water. There is a knock at the door.."Hello Citizen Carl" shouts the man outside, "I've come to take you out for the day". Citizen Carl opens the door excitedly to be confronted by Nigel Farage dressed in a morris dancer/knight of the realm/page 3 girl combo who is campaigning for the next election. Citizen Carl is overwhelmed with a combination of excitement,admiration and lust and spontaneously combusts.

 

The screen fades as the final closing music plays "Rule Britannia" as his funeral is held at Tunstall CofE Church in the presence of King Charles, Wayne Rooney, the ghosts of Oliver Cromwell and William Wallace and that bloke who turns up at all our sporting occasions waving the Union Jack. Sadly the funeral turns into a farce as the local council has sacked all the grave diggers and spent all the money campaigning for Heathrow's extra runway to be built in Longton. Instead he laid to rest on a shordruck up 'anley..it's what he would have wanted

[JOHNNYAITCH]

The "Citizen Carl" DVD box set is now available from all good retailers (but not corner shops obviously).

[carl]

And later that day in ga-ga land (or is tat bongo bongo land?)...

 

I think that sums up your mentality just nicely...or was it your dark sarcasm side reaching its ugly surface again?

[carl]

Episode 8:

 

Citizen Carl has grown very fat on Guinness heads and proper English food (chips). He lives in total darkness a lot of the time what with the lecy companies being foreign owned. Same goes for his heating..not going to pay money to those pesky Russian gas companies. And don't mention the water. There is a knock at the door.."Hello Citizen Carl" shouts the man outside, "I've come to take you out for the day". Citizen Carl opens the door excitedly to be confronted by Nigel Farage dressed in a morris dancer/knight of the realm/page 3 girl combo who is campaigning for the next election. Citizen Carl is overwhelmed with a combination of excitement,admiration and lust and spontaneously combusts.

 

The screen fades as the final closing music plays "Rule Britannia" as his funeral is held at Tunstall CofE Church in the presence of King Charles, Wayne Rooney, the ghosts of Oliver Cromwell and William Wallace and that bloke who turns up at all our sporting occasions waving the Union Jack. Sadly the funeral turns into a farce as the local council has sacked all the grave diggers and spent all the money campaigning for Heathrow's extra runway to be built in Longton. Instead he laid to rest on a shordruck up 'anley..it's what he would have wanted

 

Hasn't the council sacked their grave diggers already?

[carl]

Just a note- I notice there has been quite a few accusations that I am trying to 'spam' these threads- what these people need to do before accusing someone of 'spam', is actually find out what constitutes spam.

 

If I was repeatedly saying vote UKIP over and over again- that is spam. What I am only doing is debating/commenting on the posts within this thread.

 

To be accused of otherwise is actually a slanderous bullying way of excluding someone or in this case myself, from these forums.

 

If people dont like talking of issues like immigration (and i know what a sensitive issue it is, to millions) then may i ask that the ***admin*** of these forums ban all talk politically and just ration the threads to football or sporting issues.

 

Otherwise- put me on ignore or dont read the threads- its as simple as that. Everyone has a right to free speech and an opinion.

 

And i speak for everyone else who gets abuse off certain posters on OVF.

[Yukon]

I think that sums up your mentality just nicely...or was it your dark sarcasm side reaching its ugly surface again?

 

Do you not get tired of making a fool of yourself? I genuinely feel sorry for you with your outdated opinions. Poor lad- you're 40 years too late.

 

On the plus side, you get to discover multiculturalism and then getting to laugh at bigots calling you a lefty or a liberal for not being appalling! It's brilliant

[Memphis]

[Valenick]

The council don't make the rules so to blame them is ridiculous and the scheme is not manadatory (although food inspections are)..if they wrongly prosecuted someone they would be sued for a fortune so they have to be very careful and their motive surely has to be to help local businesses to thrive and do all they can to keep them open

 

http://www.food.gov.uk/business-industry/caterers/hygieneratings/fhrsbackground

 

Johnny I totally disagree I live in smallthorne we have 8 kebab shops within a mile someone has obviously made a lot of money letting this many open in one area or scared of the racist label

[Valenick]

That is a joke right? Surely no one is that stupid or that pathetically prejudiced?

 

If do you really think like that, you are an awful human being who has no business in a civilised society

 

Wow massive over reaction do u live in Rotherham

[sheffvale]

I wonder what the hygiene ratings would be in our own homes :nailbiting:

[carl]

Do you not get tired of making a fool of yourself? I genuinely feel sorry for you with your outdated opinions. Poor lad- you're 40 years too late.

 

On the plus side, you get to discover multiculturalism and then getting to laugh at bigots calling you a lefty or a liberal for not being appalling! It's brilliant

 

10 out of 10 for you for being a first class k**b well done!!