2 hours ago, Nippy Naylor said:

 

Cracking Post , But I did need a power nap halfway through reading it 👍😆

Typical you'd think this unsubstantiated AI rubbish is a cracking post.

Thanks for reading, I didn't even read it all myself. The point was that even a non-human following a 30 second prompt, would do better than Darren Moore. A prompt at 60 mins might say "You're an in-game management expert... don't **** this up, etc".
 

Asked AI to be a Port Vale Scout for a Number 9, with Gareth Ainsworth as Manager in a in a 4-2-3-1. Def needs a fact check, but not bad...
Here is a list of 10 realistic striker (#9) options for Port Vale as of November 2025, and how each striker complements Devante Cole (#10), Ronan Curtis (#11) and George Hall (#7), in a Christmas Tree formation with Buyers (#8) and Ojo (#4) in a double pivot. 

Manager: Gareth Ainsworth
 
1. Jonson Clarke-Harris
• Current club: Pendikspor (Turkey)
• Age: 31
• Goals 2025-26: 5 in 11 matches
• Goals 2024-25: ~31 (League One)
• Division: Turkish Süper Lig (Tier 1 Turkey)
• Estimated salary: £7,000 - £10,000 per week
• Style of Play: Classic target man - strong, physical, excels in aerial duels, holds up ball well, final product striker.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Perfect as a target man 9 to hold up play allowing Devante Cole (acting as a 10 creative forward) space and service from wide runners Curtis and Hall.
• Buy Rank: 10
 
2. Will Grigg
• Current club: Chesterfield
• Age: 34
• Goals 2025-26: 8 in 14 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 15+ (League Two)
• Division: English League Two (Tier 4 England)
• Estimated salary: £2,000 - £3,500 per week
• Style of Play: Poacher with excellent movement in box, sharp finisher, intelligent positioning, less reliant on physical hold-up.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Solid complementary partner, can rotate as main striker or support Devante Cole, adding goal threat from inside the box.
• Buy Rank: 8
 
3. Oli Shaw
• Current club: Hamilton Academical
• Age: 27
• Goals 2025-26: ~7
• Goals 2024-25: ~12
• Division: Scottish League One (Tier 3 Scotland)
• Estimated salary: £1,500 - £2,500 per week
• Style of Play: Mobile forward, good pace, likes to run in behind defenses, participates actively in link-up play.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Provides pace through middle, combining with Cole’s creativity and wide runs from Curtis/Hall, good for counterattacking style.
• Buy Rank: 7
 
4. Aaron Drinan
• Current club: Swindon Town
• Age: 25
• Goals 2025-26: 10 in 14 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 13
• Division: English League Two (Tier 4)
• Estimated salary: £1,500 - £2,500 per week
• Style of Play: Pressing forward, high work rate, good in one-on-ones, effective at exploiting space.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Could press effectively upfront allowing creative players behind more freedom, good link with Cole and wings.
• Buy Rank: 6
 
5. Matthew Dennis
• Current club: Notts County
• Age: 27
• Goals 2025-26: 6 in 13 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 11
• Division: English League Two (Tier 4)
• Estimated salary: £1,200 - £2,000 per week
• Style of Play: All-round forward, good link-up, capable of dropping slightly to collect ball, decent finisher.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Flexible role, supports Devante Cole by linking midfield and attack, good close control for tight spaces.
• Buy Rank: 5
 
6. Alex Gilbey
• Current club: Milton Keynes Dons
• Age: 29
• Goals 2025-26: 6 in 14 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 10
• Division: English League Two (Tier 4)
• Estimated salary: £1,500 - £2,500 per week
• Style of Play: Creative forward/midfielder hybrid, good passing range, vision, likes to create rather than purely score.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Could act as secondary striker behind Cole, providing assists and playmaking, giving attacking dimensions.
• Buy Rank: 4
 
7. Amara Diouf
• Current club: Derby County
• Age: 20
• Goals 2025-26: 4 in 12 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 7
• Division: English Championship (Tier 2)
• Estimated salary: £3,000 - £5,000 per week
• Style of Play: Pacey, direct forward with dribbling ability, good in transition and one-on-one situations.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Provides wide threat and runs beyond defense; good foil to Cole’s number 10 play and Hall’s width.
• Buy Rank: 3
 
8. Tate Campbell
• Current club: Sutton United
• Age: 26
• Goals 2025-26: 5 in 14 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 6
• Division: English League Two (Tier 4)
• Estimated salary: £1,000 - £1,800 per week
• Style of Play: Poacher, reliable finisher, excels inside penalty box, less involved in build-up play.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Complements Devante Cole by specializing in finishing chances created by midfield creativity and wing play.
• Buy Rank: 2
 
9. Michael Cheek
• Current club: Bromley
• Age: 27
• Goals 2025-26: 7 in 14 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 9
• Division: National League (Tier 5)
• Estimated salary: £800 - £1,200 per week
• Style of Play: Target man with physical presence, good hold-up, aerial threat.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Alternative target man option to Clarke-Harris; holds ball well for supporting forwards behind.
• Buy Rank: 1
 
10. Stephen Duke-McKenna
• Current club: Harrogate Town
• Age: 27
• Goals 2025-26: 5 in 14 matches
• Goals 2024-25: 8
• Division: English League Two (Tier 4)
• Estimated salary: £1,200 - £1,800 per week
• Style of Play: Technical forward, good dribbling, intelligent movement to create space and options.
• Role with Cole/Curtis/Hall: Can play off Cole, adding fluidity and link-up while Cole operates centrally as a creative 10.
• Buy Rank: 1
This list identifies Jonson Clarke-Harris as the top Buy Rank for a Port Vale style target man striker to lead the line, perfectly complementing Devante Cole as a 10 with Curtis and Hall on the wings. It balances goal stats, age, style of play, estimated salary, and role fit for the club’s needs.
This scouting objective focuses on finding a central striker who can hold up the ball, score regularly, and provide a reliable focal point to maximize the creativity and pace from behind and flanks for a strong second half of the season for Port Vale.

What AI engine did you use? CrapGPT?

I’m pretty sure one of the first pieces of business that we should be doing once the transfer window opens up is to transfer @Nippy Naylor to the Oatcake Fanzine site 

Probably already on it to be fair.

1 hour ago, Brian Johnson said:

I’m pretty sure one of the first pieces of business that we should be doing once the transfer window opens up is to transfer @Nippy Naylor to the Oatcake Fanzine site 

I'd transfer you to the woke league 

You'd top it every season 😆😂👍

Edited November 29, 2025Nov 29 by Nippy Naylor

19 minutes ago, Nippy Naylor said:

I'd transfer you to the woke league 

You'd top it every season 😆😂👍

The only thing you know about woke is what you do every morning 

1 minute ago, Brian Johnson said:

The only thing you know about woke is what you do every morning 

Now go put your stoke shirt on you melt 😂

My feeling is we don't need to recruit.  We need to lose a few, for sure.  What we are crying out for is a manager/coach who understands tactics, knows how to set them up right, to suit the players' skill sets, and motivate them. 

If we could achieve that, we can stay up this season and progress the next. 

On 29/11/2025 at 10:54, Nippy Naylor said:

Now go put your stoke shirt on you melt 😂

Christ, if there's anyone round here thats a closet Stoke fan its you.

On 29/11/2025 at 18:40, philmpv said:

What AI engine did you use? CrapGPT?

Love it PhilMVP.
Maybe DM listened to CrapGPT and started with the AI formation v Barnsley.

In my experience there’s not too much difference between common sense and AI, however CrapMGT.

Fans may argue and bicker like ChatSLGs (sorry, got carried away, meant to say sl*gs).

But one thing I think all us humans (even DM) can now agree upon, the current fit and available, is:

          Gauchi
John Hen Hump Head
      Byers Ojo (or Walters)           
          Paton
    Hall Cole Curtis

StayUTV

Just listening to League One Low Down: they're suggesting we sign Freddie Ladapo until the end of the season: 

 

A man with 1 in his last 35 League 1 games.

Will fit right in.

If Moore can't get our current strikers scoring, I'm not sure what another will do to help that.

We have goals in Cole & Paton I reckon, just need to look elsewhere to create better chances for them. 

8 minutes ago, Osh said:

Just listening to League One Low Down: they're suggesting we sign Freddie Ladapo until the end of the season: 

 

To be honest my first priority would be to get a winger or two working the premise we are staying true to the 4-2-3-1 (which I hope is the case). Can sign as many strikers as we want but need to improve the supply. Then would be looking at centre back.

Ladapo doesn’t particularly enthuse me though guess any move for a forward would be depending if we sent back either/or Brown and Faal.

Edited December 12, 2025Dec 12 by Guppys left peg