Reasons to be cheerful

[fairportnick]

During the Starve em Out campaign,

a bunch of soldier boys had been on a long hike,

and they arrived in a little town callled Burslem.

The next morning, being Sunday, several of the boys went to church.

A Sargeant commanded the boys in church,

and after the chaplain had read the prayer,

the text was taken up next.

Those of the boys who had a prayer books took them out,

but, this one boy had only a deck of cards,

and so he spread them out.

The Sargeant saw the cards and said, "Soldier, put away those cards".

After the services were over, the soldier was taken prisoner,

and brought before the Provost Marshall.

The marshall said " Sergeant, why have you brought this man here?"

"For playing cards in church Sir."

"And what have you to say for yourself Son?"

"Much, Sir," replied the soldier.

The marshall said, " I hope so, for if not,

I shall punish you more than any man was ever punished by making you watch Stoke."

The soldier said, "Sir, I have been on the march for about six days,

I have neither Bible nor prayerbook, but I hope to satisfy you, Sir,

with the purity of my intentions."

And with that, the boy started his story.

"You see sir, when I look at the Ace,

it reminds me that there is but One Vale Fan,

and the deuce, reminds me that the Railway Side is divided

into two parts, the Stand and the Paddock.

When I see the trey, I think of the tray that Glenn Oliver hits over his head every day.

And when I see the four,I think of MOLD.

And when I see the five, it reminds me of the five wise virgins

who Cheeky is constantly looking for.

When I see the six, it reminds me that in six days,

God made Vale Park.

When I see the seven, it reminds me that on the seventh day,

God rested from His great work.

And when I see the eight, I think of the eight righteous persons

on the Supporters club committee.

And when I see the nine, I think of the original Board of V2001.

When I see the ten, I think of the ten commandments,

most of which V2001 have ignored, but I don’t think that they coveted anyones ass.

When I see the king, it reminds me that there is but one King , John Rudge.

And when I see the Queen, I think of a certain CEO, and the Jack of Knaves is the Devil, take your pick.

When I count the number of spots in a deck of cards,

I find 365, and think of a small bottle of thousand island dressing.

There are 52 cards, the number of weeks in a year.

There are four suits, the number of MOLD , not again.

There are twelve picture cards, the number of matches SEO have missed.

There are thirteen tricks, most of which V2001 have tried.

So, you see Sir, my pack of cards serves me as a Bible,

an Almanac, and a Rothmans football annual.

And Friends, the story is true, I know,

I read it on the Vale website..

[butterfly]

Made me laugh (on a Monday too )