Spunk Trumpet

He’s the definition of a happy clapper. I’ve seen a post today from him. It’s madness. He’s utterly delusional. Some might say thick. There’s not much going on up top.

Spot on. Hes an 18 stone lump who can’t play football and can’t stay fit. Fans laughed at Akinfenwa. Now he was a beast who could play football and for 90 minutes at that! Even towards the end of his career. Uche is a joke of an “athlete”.

Quality. Correct. A league lower you do need a lot of determination and heart. Bar 3 or 4, this squad is devoid of any fight whatsoever.

Tom Pope had also scored over 80 goals at the age of 29. Uche isn’t near that. And if you believe the narrative, Uche was being paid 4500 quid a week this season. I see nothing in that donkeys game that says he worthy of a wage in any professional football league.

If you are bringing Tom Pope into the debate, then you are comparing the two players. So I’ll break down the two players….. Number 1. Tom was a goalscorer. Uche is not. Number 2. Tom could hold the ball up with a delicate touch. Uche has a trampoline foot. Number 3. When Tom won headers they would go to another player or in the onion bag. When Uche wins headers they bounce off his 50p head. That’s if he actually connects at all! Number 4. Tom was a professional footballer who loved the club and lived his dream. Uche is acting like a professional footballer who certain fans think he’s ok because he’s 18 stone and causes a nuisance. If a 29 year old Pope was worth 300k in the market and got roughly 3k a week in wages then a 29 year old Uche is worth 50 quid and a bag of washers and should be on minimum wage. The two are miles apart in terms of goalscoring and ability.

In his last two home games he’s managed to not connect with a header from one yard out, make a passback to the keeper from the edge of the box and hit the roof of the Hamil. League 1, league 2 or Sunday morning level, he ain’t gonna be scoring goals. Just because he’s got a catchy song doesn’t make him good enough. Fans need to realise he’s a waste of a wage and if he gets a contract then we are bang in trouble from the get go. I never ever want to see him wear the shirt again.

This.

No. I’m telling you what I see with my own eyes. The bloke is utter garbage. That’s not dialogue. That’s a fact that people really should see with their own eyes.

Barrow have Dom Telford and Cole Stockton. We have Ryan Loft and Uche Ikpeazu. Barrow have missed out on the league two playoffs. Stockton got 7 in 12. Telford only 4. But two seasons ago, Telford got 25 in league 2 at the age of 28. Stockton got 23 in league 1 at the age of 28. Uche will be 30 in February and hasn’t hit a barn door in his career. It won’t start now. It won’t start in August. It won’t start in August 2025. He’s garbage. I don’t want my strikers to do a “job”. I want them to score or contribute to goals. He can’t do either. It’s as simple as that.

I’d bet my life that James Wilson comes out on top in that respect as well! Uche could play all night and not score. Give me Wilson for ten minutes, half fit, over Uche for 90 minutes fully fit.

No it wouldn’t. That’s a really silly statement. Mitch Clark is made of glass. So you’re relying on him not breaking down. Debrah is a non league footballer. Iacovitti is always one accident away from us conceding. Wynne? You’ve never ever seen the bloke play!! A 30 year old from Canadas version of the mls fills me with zero hope. Ojo. Attitude problem. Unreliable attitude. A bad egg. Ikpeazu. Can’t score goals. Can’t play football! Apart from Wynne and Clark most of those have been mullered week in weeks out. Just because we are going down a level, don’t think these players will become promotion contenders because most of them are absolute dogcrap. Like Moore said, it’s a massive summer rebuild. If we go into the first game of next season with that side then expect a long hard season battling relegation.

James Wilson. 28 years old. Last 4 seasons. 134 games. 31 goals. Uche Ikpeazu. 29 years old. Last 4 seasons. 85 games. 12 goals. If Wilson is classed as always injured and we have let him go, then Christ only knows what Uche is classed as and we are offering him a contract!!! Now make that make sense.

If the hierarchy are seriously considering offering that Donkey a contract then there’s no <ovf censored> hope whatsoever.

And on a final point of the season as a whole….. Uche and Loft. Don’t be angry the fans have been on your back. You’re crap. Be thankful that your bank balance is massively enhanced through being that crap. You’ve made a great career on being crap. So take the positives. I never saw any lack of effort. Grant, Massey, Ojo, take a long hard look at yourselves. All have pedigree and aren’t fit to lace the boots of Uche and Loft. Due to your disgusting lack of effort over the season. And that says it all. Certain players will always be welcome back to vale park. The three of you have stunk the joint out all season.

Jensen Weir out of contract now. Not that I’d personally want him but considering Moore kept bringing him on and starts him today, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was one of the first players to sign.

Season done. As pathetic a season as I’ve ever witnessed. Thankfully the likes of Loft, Grant and Massey weren’t in show to pierce everyone’s eyes of their utter crapness. Big rebuild. I actually think Moore is the man to do it. From Derby, Portsmouth and Bolton to one of Solihull, Bromley or Altrincham. It is what it is. A final point on season tickets. How the hell can anyone commit to one when 5 games in league 2, every week, will be live on sky? That meaning no Saturday 3pm games. That’s almost half the league that will be shipped to other times and days every week! So anyone buying a season ticket, don’t moan when you can’t attend on a Saturday dinner, Saturday evening, sundays, Monday night or Friday night.

All of those mentioned, apart from Sang, are on over 2k a week. Somehow we’ve got to ship them out. To have players who can’t cut it in league 2, on 2k plus a week, is a recipe for disaster. Thankyou Mr. Flitcroft and Thankyou Mrs Shanahan for this total mess. She has a hell of a summer rebuild because of her inability to keep her eye on the ball. It is what it is.

I honestly think we should extend Lofts contract. Give him two more years. And work with him. Come 2027 we may get 5 goals from the bloke. Give Massey an extension as well. Loved watching him this season. Full of goals and assists. Glad we’ve got Ojo for 3 more years. I mean when the going gets tough you really want someone in the trenches like that lad! Keep Debrah on. Another yard on that long throw and he’s a huge asset. Iacovitti. “The Yak”. Give him 5 years. Silky smooth on a football. Can do things other footballers can’t. No, seriously. He actually can. Grant. 3500 quid a week is a snip! A wand of a left foot. Sadly it’s stuck up Sootys backside. Uche is definitely the way forward. He will come back as a monster truck in another life. Only he will probably mow over the fans. Tom Sang. If football was karaoke he wouldn’t get another song again. Sang enough. And Smith. 400 games. Here’s to the next 400. Because this club is absolutely going somewhere with a captain like him. He will be a world beater at pinching his strikers back in league 2. For those knocking Darren Moore he will know what he’s been given and what we have to work with next season. He’s here for the summer and he is going to build his side. I’ll be amazed if anymore than 1 of those are in his plans for next season.

They had an off night with their star player out injured. We had Alfie and Ollie. Take them out of our side and you have seen what you’ve got. I was there that night. Singing Stags are falling apart again. It’s time we owned our own failings. Not only have we fallen apart we have been broken into pieces and Mansfield will be having the last laugh tonight. And rightly so.

My life is a choice, sunshine. No need get personal. Sorry if you don’t like my double xx. xxx

Or lived all around the country, and abroad, seeing new things in life and broadening my horizons. Packmoor Vale. Another one living rent free. You’re welcome flower xx

I think you’re obsessed with me. Rent free sunshine.

You see, when you royally <ovf censored> up in life (and we’ve all been there) you are normally held accountable to a handful of people. She’s accountable to thousands who have loved this club long before she was around. That statement is like a fella begging his Mrs to stay, with a big speech about how he’s sorry for cheating and look at how much I love you. There’s no disgrace in owning your <ovf censored> ups in life. One single sorry followed by how much I love you just doesn’t wash. A better statement would have been how sorry she was in taking her eye off the ball. How sorry she was for giving Flitcroft those windows and allowing him to dictate the club. How sorry she was for not fixing things like the toilets in the paddock whilst yards away she eats prawn sandwiches with Robbie Williams. How sorry she was for getting rid of good people at the club who were at the heart of our play off success. How sorry she was for royally <ovf censored> up this football club when the fans were <ovf censored> telling her 18 months ago! Her promises and words now mean nothing. Honeymoon period well and truly over.

I’m sorry but that’s just virtue signaling political waffle. And please don’t state that you’ve always put the football side of things first because it’s a blatant lie. Even on our relegation day she mentions the community. Just get the summer right. Get proper footballers on the pitch. Real men with fight passion and skill. And stop making empty promises.

No. He played 40 odd games in the season we finished 20th in that league! Conor Hall made him look silly in the year we got promoted. Positionally he’s a liability and has been an absolute banter captain. He’s played 400 games for the club and will never ever be anywhere near legend status. That says it all.