It’s time for Valiant 2001

It’s time for Valiant 2001

In his early morning post, dated 2nd November, Brooker’s Left Boot said it all for us after another week of non-existent public relations plus silence from the Boardroom of the Port Vale Football Club.

***

It’s Time for Valiant 2001

In a week we’ve agreed we’d rather forget
Which started when saying goodbye to Brett
Because the new deal offered by the ‘Club
Was viewed by Angel as a first class snub,
He’s got two hundred goals against his name!
So to let him go was truly insane.

Whilst our chorus of anger was in full cry
Our Chairman once more revealed the lie
When the plod announced that monies unpaid
Meant Saturday’s game would not be played,
‘But if the cash is up front, or in the mail,
Then we will be there to serve Port Vale’.

As our angry chorus grew to a shout,
And the placards were screaming ‘OUT, BELL, OUT’,
We received the news of a TV deal,
A welcome surprise to even the keel,
With fifty four thousand tucked safely in the jar
We could pay the plod and keep our goal-scoring star.

Was the Chairman’s silence just another foil?
For the rumour abroad made our blood boil,
The price of admission was on the up!
Resulting in howls ‘ENOUGH IS ENOUGH’,
Plus ‘go now Bell, be off, and be gone,
It’s time for Valiant – Two Thousand and One’.

When Brooker’s Left Boot put the Sentinel down
To ponder the news from Burslem Town
That it would cost adults another quid more
To see Port Vale win, lose or draw,
He wondered if his sister, a bonnie young lass,
Would also be parting with more of her brass.

So he picked up the ‘phone that very same day
To seek confirmation, to hear what they’d say,
‘Is it true what I’ve read in the local press
And does this include age fifteen and less?’
But what happened next simply beggars belief
For were it not true, would be comic relief.

The ticket office was Brooker’s first call,
But they knew nothing, knew nothing at all
Of the increased admission, or the story he’d read
In the press that day, so transferred him instead
To the lady on the switchboard, ‘she will know,
Or point your enquiry the way it should go’.

A courteous greeting awaited ‘Left Boot
But the lady knew nothing of a price rise scoop,
She’d heard the story had been headlined that day
In the Sentinel sports, but what could she say?
‘Without confirmation from the top
The ‘Club’s secretary is your next stop’.

Our Valiant friend continued his quest
For an answer or two, and would not rest
Until he was sure, as best he could tell,
Adults will pay more – thanks to Bill Bell,
So he dialled the number now to hand
But it simply rang, and rang, and rang.

Now Brooker’s Left Boot of onevalefan
Is a dyed in the wool Valiant man
Who can be forgiven for wanting to know
What kinds of Muppets are running the show,
For there’s no PR to talk about
Inside the club, as well as out.

The Sentinel was Brooker’s fourth call
But there was nothing new, nothing at all
To confirm or deny the rumoured tale,
‘We’re still waiting for answers from Port Vale’
You’ve heard it before, each time with pain,
The long-suffering fans have been dumped on again.

Now Brooker’s Left Boot was prepared to confess
He was truly fed-up with the shambolic mess,
The lights may be on, but no one is there,
And even if they are, do they really care?
‘So please Mr Bell be off, and be gone,
It’s time for Valiant – Two Thousand and One’.

Barry Edge
Western Australia
November 2, 2002

🙂

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