For a Snog and a Pie

Exiled Valiant Barry Edge lives in Perth, Western Australia and is a regular columnist for onevalefan. Here is his exclusive poem about a young Billys Boots romance.

Once in a while the message board of onevalefan gives up a priceless gem. It is the author’s opinion that Billys Boots post of 1st July 2002, in the thread ‘Vale Babes’, is one such gem. Hopefully, this Ode encapsulates the total essence of his ‘true story’.

For a Snog and a Pie

It’s been seventeen years since he met the lass
In the Railway Paddock, near the Hamil end,
And in Billys words she was ‘quality tash’
As was her companion and true Valiant friend.

He would go to Vale Park with his mate and peer
To be amongst the ‘mob’ to have some fun,
Singing songs on the terraces such as ‘Hark now hear’
But when things got hairy they would up and run.

After weeks of smiling and winks by the score
He plucked up the courage and asked his mate
To go over and speak to his heart’s amour
And act as his broker; to get him a date.

His heart was beating at a racing pace,
His mind running wild, his hopes held high
As he watched and waited, then he saw her face,
But was she waving hello, or ‘no thank you, goodbye’.

As his mate was returning he began to wonder
Whether his approach had been a tad too brassy,
Then a scrap piece of paper with her telephone number
Confirmed in his heart she was ‘very, very classy’.

Going ‘out’ for Billys was walking around
Holding hands plus cuddles and feeling plucky,
And kisses were many with thoughts abound
Of fingers and thumbs if he was lucky.

They went ‘out’ for weeks, yes life was so good,
And in the school break he would cycle each day
Across highways and byways, as a young beau should,
To court his sweetheart; to steal her heart away.

There was one time, he says without doubt,
When he went to the home of her true Valiant friend,
Yes, the one that his mate was keen to take ‘out’,
Where he ate a Wright’s pie, it was bliss without end.

But the young Valiant sweethearts would drift apart
And the Paddock romance would wither and die
Because ‘Boots got fed up and no longer had heart
To cycle five miles for a snog and a pie.

It was several years later in Billys tale
When he saw a young lady wearing a sash
With the distinguished title of Miss Port Vale,
It was his one and only and ex ‘quality tash’.

Barry Edge
Western Australia
July 10, 2002


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