Dear God

Exiled Valiant Barry Edge lives in Perth, Western Australia and is a regular columnist for onevalefan. Here is his latest message board verse, this time courtesy Paul T Vale.

Pre seasons are nail-biting affairs for not knowing whether we would start new campaigns minus one, perhaps two of our best player assets, or whether there would be a strengthening of the squad. Pre season 2002/03 has been no different – the nervousness was evident for all to see.

So what would happen this time around?

On the 31st July Paul T Vale, a regular onevalefan, took the unusual approach of asking ‘Dear God’ for His assistance. With due reverence, this is the essence of Paul’s plea for help.

Dear God

Now he does not ask too often, says Mr Paul T Vale,
And in a wistful post shares this little tale
Of seeking intervention from the heavens above
To hear his cry of help, starting with the words ‘Dear God’.

Paul tells us of a bike back in seventy-nine
And with belated thanks says it was dandy fine,
But that was twenty years ago, he’s now too big for that!
On top of which he claims he’s idle and he’s fat.

‘Dear God’, he whispered reverently, ‘I’ve been of good behaviour
So now believe I’m due another special favour,
Including those parishioners of the Hamil region
Longing for a better run in the coming season’.

The focus of his prayer is all things black and white
With ‘Dear God’ can you please arrange for Mac to see the light?
And once that’s done just one more thing ‘please ask Jon McCarthy
To ‘phone his mate Steven Guppy to come and join the party’.

He tells ‘Dear God’ he yearns to see them in the show
Similar to that time some seven years ago
With Guppy on the left, McCarthy on the right,
Oh wouldn’t that just be a truly wonderful sight.

‘So Dear God please help Jon to convince his mate Steve
That the time has finally come for him to leave
That little club in Glasgow, no more should he roam,
And return instead to the hallowed turf of his spiritual home’.

Paul is in no doubt that ‘Dear God’ loves Port Vale
Because an Angell he has sent via the ‘Diamond trail,
And knows those mighty wingers, using all their skill and speed,
Will give our Rushden journeyman the service he will need.

Paul then promised ‘Dear God’ that he would be His guest
Should He be so kind as to grant him this request,
That he’ll be there on Sunday come hail, rain or shine,
Then gave the ‘Big Fellah’ many cheers for His precious time.

After a moment of introspection, according to our man Paul,
He knew that Super Steve would not be answering the call,
So in a post script to ‘Dear God’, courtesy of Chairman Bell,
Said he’d settle for McCarthy…‘But, put Charnock in as well’.

In the last days of pre season the news came from the hill
That a double signing had been made, approved by Chairman Bill,
They were Charnock and McCarthy! It was really super news,
The kind that warms the heart and drives away the blues.

Paul T Vale was very sure ‘Dear God’ had heard his plea
For he shouted ‘Hallelujah! That will suit me to a tee’,
Plus ‘Thank you Lord for listening and for all that you have done
For Valiants near and far, and your long lost Prodigal son’.

Barry Edge
Western Australia
August 10, 2002


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