Barry Edge is back with another of his memoirs. This one isn’t that connected with the Valiants, but Barry thinks it may strike a chord with some of the OVF users anyway…
Hi folks, just got in from shopping with my lovely wife.
We usually have lunch first in one of the many eateries in or near the shopping mall. Then it’s off to the supermarkets where I grab a shopping trolley and drop in behind to follow my personal hunter and gatherer who will seek all things needed for the pantry, and whilst Ann is so engaged I look around to watch the comings and goings of other shoppers.
Although I’m not one for reaching and tipping stuff into the trolley Ann will always ask if there’s anything I need, but when the hunger pangs have been removed consequence of a nice lunch the answer is invariably ‘No’. Okay, there will always be the one desire, but it’s not to be found on the laden supermarket shelves.
Almost nothing much changes from one shopping trip to the next: children chucking tantrums because their parents won’t buy them toffees or ice creams; shoppers venting their frustration on other shoppers…
Almost nothing much changes from one shopping trip to the next: children chucking tantrums because their parents won’t buy them toffees or ice creams; shoppers venting their frustration on other shoppers by using their trolleys to barge through the checkouts; checkout operators trying their very best not to lose the plot with rude customers – more so because they have cameras watching their every move.
You’ve seen it too, yes? So I’m not telling you anything new.
So there I am tucked in behind Ann waiting for her to top up our trolley when to my right I saw a lady chastising her husband for daring to place a large block of chocolate in their trolley. “No, we don’t need that!” she shouted at him, then went on to remind him that she did the shopping “And don’t you forget it!” Poor sod, he looked so embarrassed.
The lady was now aware I had witnessed her little outburst and looking straight at me said “I suppose you’re like all husbands always putting stuff into trolleys their wives don’t need?” In reply I said I was not allowed to put ‘stuff’ into the trolley without prior permission quickly adding “I have to make up a list of things I think I need the night before and only those items approved will I be allowed to put into our trolley”. With a look of amazement she quickly turned on heel to scurry back to her husband and, in a voice loud enough to be heard at the checkout, told him he could put the chocolate back into the trolley.
I pretended to look away, but out of the corner of my eye I saw the lady casting a furtive glance in my directing and pointing me out to her husband…
I pretended to look away, but out of the corner of my eye I saw the lady casting a furtive glance in my directing and pointing me out to her husband whilst whispering in his ear. A few moments later the man looked at me as if to say ‘you poor sod’, but my nod, wink and smile seem to bewilder him somewhat.
By now Ann had returned from the cheese counter and placed several more items in our trolley, then with a smile and a wink said “When we get to kitchenware I’m going to buy you a nice big wooden spoon for Christmas. It will help you to stir even better”
With our trolley now laden we were making our way to the checkout and as we did I reached for and grabbed a kilo of fresh pepperoni.
See you later
March 25, 2013