Burslem Babe has a windows and shed problem. She is very keen for the ‘Council to install new PVC windows. But she also wants to keep her shed in the back yard. Sadly, the man from the ‘Council isn’t listening saying she has to choose one or the other – that she can’t have both. Oh dear, all pity to the poor man, he just doesn’t know BB like we do.
Although it isn’t getting to ‘Ben Hur with a cast of thousands’ proportions just yet, Tosh is spot on when he says the shed issue is looming larger than the ‘Council would prefer.
PaulT’s idea is one of burning it down. But we’ll just ignore that, wont we?
Enter Lodge Gate with the suggestion that because BB’s shed is fast becoming part and parcel of Burslem folklore someone down the track will want to write a song about it. Better still, the great man himself – Robert Allen Zimmerman aka Bob Dylan – maybe the one to put pen to paper.
Mike Bycars says that Lodge’s thinking is too far fetched stating we had a better chance with onevalefan’s resident Aussie jotting down a few lines in memoriam. Lodge, in his usual witty style, said he wanted Zimmerman, not Zimmerframe (he was joking, wasn’t he?).
Anyway, yours truly is happy to oblige. But before unveiling my latest verse it is very important I apologise to all Dylanists including the great man himself. Oh, and to Bogey and Glenn as well. Oh, and to all the posters who do not know Dylan.
Well you see I’ve been a little cheeky because the following is written in the same style as the great man’s song ‘For the times, they are a chang-in’. The original has five stanzas. This too has five stanzas.
So, for those who know the music, clear your throats and burst into song…
And my shed it will be a-stayin’
The man from the ‘Council’s just been to my home
And right now I’m feelin’ a-little alone
He said no new windows was he puttin’ in
If I knew what he was a-sayin’
That it’s no use a-crying and leanin’ on him
If my shed it was a-stayin’,
I’ve had a tough week and this tops it off
And I think that the ‘Council has gone to the pot
But no matter my thoughts new windows I need
If you know what I am a-sayin’
So it’s gone up for sale with all haste and speed
‘though my shed it should be a-stayin’.
So I post the sad news to my Valiant clan
Who gather together on onevalefan
The suggestions they come at a thick’n’fast rate
Can’t repeat what some are a-sayin’
But a plea to the ‘Council may not be too late
If my shed it is a-stayin’.
There’s offers to empty and move it away
For a bacon buttie and jam sandwich tray
But a midnight move is not on the cards
If you hear what I am a-sayin’
And if to be done by the moon and the stars
Then my shed it is a-stayin’.
That the ‘Council should win just doesn’t seem right
So I’m best resolved to continue the fight
And at the end of the day, when all’s said and done,
They will know what I am a-sayin’
And I’m not giving up ‘til the battle is won
And my shed it will be a-stayin’.
March 8, 2004
p.s. Burslem Babe tells onevalefan the new windows will be installed sometime this week. Also, there could be a ‘Shed Warming’ party in appreciation of the above verse. If that does happen maybe someone with a guitar could strum the tune as you sing and celebrate.