Are you a Port Vale fan?

Exiled Valiant Barry Edge lives in Perth, Western Australia and is a regular columnist for onevalefan. In this verse he converts Dick Dale’s experience with the local press and one of it’s reporters. It’s true! Honest! Cross his heart…and all that stuff.

Much has happened since this verse was penned on the 12th March 2003. Of particular note is the acceptance of V2001 by the creditors, and although Dick Dale’s message was posted on Monday 10th March it’s still a worthwhile read – if only for the unbelievable humour of it all.

Are You A Port Vale Fan?

The warning is clear as Valiants’ unite
To all outsiders ‘We’re ready to fight’
Through a campaign known as ‘Save the Vale’
To secure our future both hearty and hale.

The Supporters Club and Sproson Fund
Had seized the moment and quickly sprung
With VaST and Valiant Two-Thousand and One
To raise the money and get the job done.

With the joining together of the ‘Fabulous Four’
We have the ‘Power of One’ and much, much more,
And by rallying together we answer the call
Because ‘United we stand, divided we fall’.

But don’t forget the power of the few
To mobilise fans with one voice loud and true
Through the Vale Park Beano, marches and more,
To help keep outsiders away from our door.

Regardless the weather they go to each game,
And it’s not for glory or personal fame
That these brave few promote Port Vale
Led by the intrepid Mister Dick Dale.

When they don their colours, scarves and all
These true believers stand proud and tall
Whilst they sell rosettes, and give posters for free
Saying ‘Go away Iceland and leave us be’.

Now one or two got on the ‘phone
To complain about the pennant’s tone,
But that was all, so dare we guess
Saying ‘No to Iceland’ was a huge success?

Those capital letters shouting…FC.UK.OFF
To promote our cause seemed over the top,
But translated means we’ve had enough
Of all that ‘Franchise Football’ stuff.

In football clubs across the land
Supporters join to take a stand
To save our game, and to be freed
From the absent men of greed.

So when the Sentinel e-mailed Dick
He must have pondered ‘are they thick?’
For herein lay the strangest twist
They did not know…FC.UK.OFF exists.

This next part really is a blast,
A case of keeping best ‘til last,
And a funny twist in this tale
As told to us by Richard Dale.

This happy few, a boisterous lot,
Were standing near the Port Vale shop
Selling ‘zines, rosettes as well,
To help us say bye, bye to Bell.

Their shirts and scarves were on full view
With words that gave another clue
To tell the world both loud and clear
It’s the ‘Mighty Vale’ they hold dear.

A lady approached with quickened pace,
A serious look upon her face,
And with a notebook in her hand
Was chasing news from Valiant land.

‘I’m from the Sentinel’ she said
‘A local paper widely read,
And doing interviews’, she told our man,
Then asked him ‘Are you a Port Vale fan?

Now Richard Dale just could not hide
His sarcastic wit as he replied
‘No, I’m from Stoke quite obviously,
Selling Port Vale ‘zines, as you can see’.

This story is true! He kids us not!
And he wondered if she’d lost the plot,
But no, it seems, she’s only new
Who didn’t know ‘Vale from Stoke or Crewe.

Barry Edge
Western Australia
March 20, 2003


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