Emotional Bank Account

Barry draws on Lodge Gate’s ideas of giving and taking that serve to earn those valuable Leave Passes when we ‘mere males’ want to see our beloved Port Vale in action – home or away.

Trent Vale Valiant had been bemoaning his luck in not getting a leave pass to see Port Vale play away at Barnsley on the 28th December 2002. Then at 1800 hours on the 27th December 2002 Lodge Gate posted his thoughts on the matter and encouraged TVV to start saving immediately towards achieving his wishes for 2003.

For the ladies only: if any of you find parts of this poem patronising, I offer my unreserved apology. However, it seemed to me that Lodge Gate’s post was as much a subtle mix of ‘mere male’ humour, as it was a sincere response to our true blue Valiant friend.

Emotional Bank Account

‘I want to go to Barnsley’
Said Chris the Trent Vale man,
‘So could any of the married men
Help me form a plan,
For I haven’t told my lady yet
And I’m pondering what to do,
But before I break the news to her
I need a tip or two’.

Whilst Lodge Gate sympathised
He told our Valiant mate
That asking for a leave pass
Was several months too late,
For most of us would know
When December comes around
Whether there was any chance
Of visiting Burslem Town.

Christmas is a busy time
As families plot and plan
To spend the Yuletide season
In the best way that they can,
Those chestnuts by the fireside
And presents under the tree,
A time to be together
During the Nativity.

The answer is quite simple
He tells our Valiant friend
‘You need to have strategy
With a strong and personal blend,
Plus you need to start immediately
If you want those credits to mount
Each time you make deposits
In your emotional bank account.

The currency you use
Will vary day to day
With no need to be pretentious
To make each moment pay,
From a smile and a hug
Or perhaps a pint or three
And with every bunch of roses
Added interest you will see.

When you whisper in her ear
Those three words ‘I love you’
And said with true devotion
There’ll be nothing you can’t do,
And as the months slip quietly by
Towards your Christmas prize
Your leave pass will be granted
With a twinkle in her eyes’.

Lodge Gate then recalled
A meet in the Port Vale pub
With other true blue Valiants
From the Robbie Fielding ‘Club,
And he remembers very clearly
The strong emotional powers
Working and bonding together,
Though no one bought him flowers.

Today he works with youth,
A sales rep years before,
But Lodge Gate makes it clear
We must always keep the score,
And make those regular payments
To others that we know
If we wish to be rewarded
As through this life we go.

Then on a personal note
He shared this little tale
Of the time he hoped to see
Ipswich play Port Vale,
But when travelling back from Chorley
To their home in Milton Keynes
Lodge Gate’s lovely lady
Was not the best it seems.

Although his wife was feeling ill
She was happy for Lodge Gate
To go and watch the football
Whilst in the car she’d wait,
She said a little cat-nap,
Just forty winks of sleep,
Would help her feel much better
And get her back upon her feet.

Now Lodge Gate wasn’t happy
To leave his wife alone,
So when she fell asleep
He just headed straight for home,
It was nearly journey’s end
When finally she woke
To find that they were heading south,
And miles away from Stoke.

His lovely lady stated
She was grateful and impressed
That he had missed the game
So that she could get some rest,
And to this very day,
According to his tale,
It’s never been a problem
For Lodge Gate to watch Port Vale.

Barry Edge
Western Australia
January 14, 2003


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