My Boslem Wom

My Boslem Wom

Barry says he’s been very busy at work since the season kicked off and hasn’t been spending as much time as he’d like on onevalefan, but what time he did spend on the Forums was to look for new themes and material for his next poem. Right on cue Steve Burdekin, aka Birdy, kindly obliged in a post dated 4th August 2006 at 1137 GMT.


There’s nothing to compare with the excitement consequence of the first day of a new season, and in his post dated 4th August 2006 Birdy captures much of what it means to football followers across the land: the emotions, the high hopes and expectations; catching up with old mates and making new friends; a jar or two; perhaps a pasty or pie; the several ‘Club and other raffles to participate in; getting hold of a copy of the local Fanzine; and much, much more.

Why don’t you travel with me and see what Birdy gets up to on the first day of season 06/07 as he heads north out of London – destination Vale Park?


My Boslem Wom

I’m dead excited, can’t wait to get up
To make my butties and other stuff,
Like hummus, red peppers, tomatoes as well –
Traditional snappin’ as you can tell

Strutting down the street with my Vale top on,
I’m heading north to my Boslem wom,
Is my top too small? Or is it just me?
Or has my waist gained an inch or three?

At Euston Station other exiles queue
Because like me they are fleeing too
From London, the Thames, the Tower, Big Ben,
To be with the boys; to drink like the men.

In the many Shires across our great land
They’ll meet their mates in their favourite stand
To cheer on the ‘Lads in their favourite teams
And hope ‘tis the season they’ll realise their dreams.

We Valiants from North London Inc
Quickly found our seats and bought a drink,
And we don’t mind if the beer we buy
On the north bound train is priced too high.

The rush and the bustle to catch the train
Was worth all the hassle, worth all the pain,
We chat, we argue ‘bout this, that and nowt,
Then someone yells out ‘It’s Birdy’s shout!’

The green fields of England are rushing by
And the sun in the east is rising high,
But our eyes are glued on quality tash
And we ask ourselves ‘Would she do our dash?’

We’re nearly there, but first of all
Through Trentham Town our train must crawl
Where the ritual turning of the head
Saves one from seeing that Neck End ‘Shed

We arrived in Stoke and grabbed a cheap cab,
‘Twas foot on the gas and less of the gab,
Then in the Bull’s Head we quaffed a few ales
Whilst having a laugh, and telling some tales.

After a pasty with peas, or was it two,
It was time to join another queue,
And because I won’t use the Bycars bog –
The pub was the place to empty my clog.

Sproson Fund raffles, the Shirt of Your Back,
Derek I’m Gutted, and a football pack,
They’ve all got their gimmicks to get you in
But sadly to say we never win.

We walked up the Hamil, our hopes on high,
We looked for the changes to catch the eye,
New scoreboard perhaps! New sponsorship brand!
And has there been work on the Lorne Street Stand?

Walking through the gates always wins it for me
When the Railway, Bycars and Lorne Street I see,
But at times the excitement I need to stem
Or I’d be in danger of messin’ mesen.

The close season done, new signings all in,
We start off in style with a three goal win,
We call in at Tommy’s, the Post office too,
By now it’s clear we’ve had quite a few.

The taxi’s outside, it’s time to move out,
But before we do there’s one more shout,
We call by the Swan to see ‘ah kid’ –
That lovable host and good friend Sid.

The green fields of England are rushing by
And the moon in the east is rising high,
We’re babbling now, but do not care,
‘Twas a top day out at the Boslem Fair?

Barry Edge
Western Australia
August 14 2006


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