On Themes and Variations

On Themes and Variations

Exiled Valiant Barry Edge lives in Perth, Western Australia. Last February certain message board banter between Port Vale and Stoke City rivals almost reached fever pitch. Our neighbours are in Division One now and Barry says, in a perverse sort of way of course, that he misses the banter between some of our absent Stokie friends.

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On Themes and Variations

I am a true blue Valiant
A member of that clan
That loves to share the banter
On the board of onevalefan,
Especially with our Stokie friends
From Britannia by the Lakes
Who post on here their hopes and dreams
Including their pet hates.

But have you ever noticed
That a number of these themes
Can be counted on two hands?
Or so, at least, it seems,
With subtle variations,
Well – all are not quite so,
Designed to give some credence
Whilst others are quite low.

Most Posters’ education
Is clear for all to see,
With punctuation, spelling,
Plus grammar to a tee,
Yet others love to shout
When they leave the caps lock on,
And they’re the first to rant and rave
When commas there are none.

Regurgitated regularly
Is the theme about our grounds,
Ours in Hamil Road,
Theirs in Hanford Town,
Which is best? Who owns what?
All in the name of wit,
The Wembley of the North?
Or a Castle called the Brit?

Some Stokies’ keep reminding us
About their big club status,
With crowds to match, history too,
And just how much they hate us,
Don’t forget the League Cup
That they won in seventy-two!
And playing down in this Division
Just simply will not do.

They’re the sleeping giants of Europe
Others tell us every time
They post on Fielding’s message board,
To the Premiership they will climb
And leave behind the Burslem Boys
In England’s Nationwide,
For they’re convinced, without a doubt,
That they’re the better side.

Now what about those Stokies’
Who make a point of posting
That they couldn’t care less what happens to us,
But hate a ‘Derby roasting
At the feet of the Port Vale Football Club,
An outfit from the Hamil,
Than by any other football team,
Even from across the Channel.

Ah, it’s great to be a Valiant
And of knowing whom we are,
The Pride of the Potteries, as we say,
Whose history’s on a par
With any in the Nationwide,
And it makes a super read
In black and white, how else of course,
As Valiants will agree.

Barry Edge
Western Australia
August 26, 2002

🙂

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