MCF's Son

MCF's Son

Exiled Valiant Barry Edge lives in Perth, Western Australia and is a regular columnist for onevalefan. Barry tell’s us that this little ditty is about one Stokie who is very dear to our Valiant hearts.


The use of pseudonyms on message boards are all-pervasive. This onevalefan contribution combines one particular pseudonym with several Port Vale themes regularly mentioned by ‘True Blue Valiants’ on the one hand, and which give rise to humour from our near neighbours on the other. My thanks to all ovf posters for the material needed and used in this and my other poems.

MCF’s Son

This is a story of a lad,
Or is it really of his dad
And alter ego plus close friend
Who hails from the Trentham end?

What’s in a name? I’ve heard folks say,
It’s a game with words that people play
Using codes and signs they seek to feign,
By nom de plume, their very own name.

It seemed to me right from the start
That this wee lad is very smart,
So a plan was hatched to poach him over,
And a chance for him to walk on clover.

His membership will be just grand
And includes the unfinished Lorne Street Stand,
He’ll quickly forget those Tele Tubbies
When he and Boomer are best of buddies.

There’s a visit to the chairman’s suite
And with luck the gaffer will meet,
Plus he’ll run onto the hallowed turf
Wearing a famous Port Vale shirt.

We willl always keep a seat for him
And with smaller crowds there’ll be less din,
There’s a special spot for his pram
And a changing room for his mam.

Although it’s true we cannot claim
The dizzy heights of League Cup fame,
Our history has an equal score –
An FA Semi in fifty-four.

But the boy will have a sense of pride
Together with a smile so wide
After watching the mighty ‘Valiants play
To win the game on Derby Day.

A celebrity spot on onevalefan
Can be arranged with Rob the man,
To share with other girls and boys
His Nationwide, Division Two joys.

We can assure his dad in every way
That his little boy will wash each day,
That we’ll do our best, no matter how hard,
To keep him away from pies of lard.

Just hang about, what’s that I hear?
A voice nearby – loud and clear
Telling us we have no hope,
The boy’s born to be loyal, proud and Stoke.

Now the wee lad’s dad, Mr Seventy Four,
Compares the above effort to that in Star Wars
By referring to Port Vale as the ‘Dark Side’,
Saying the Empire Britannia is the Starship to ride.

He reminds us again, just like before,
Of the Big club status, bigger crowds and more
That his son will enjoy as the years role by,
And their Premier club status is no ‘Pie in the Sky’.

For now, it seems, we’ll take a back seat,
But it is not intended to be a retreat
From doing our best to win over the heart
Of a wee lad to follow the ‘Lads from Vale Park.

This was a story of a lad,
Or was it really of his dad
And alter ego plus close friend
Who hails from the Trentham end?

Barry Edge
Western Australia
April 4, 2002


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