Take Away Manager

Take Away Manager

Exiled Valiant Barry Edge lives in Perth, Western Australia and is a regular columnist for onevalefan. Today he asks if the rumour’s true that Paul T Vale is making a bid for the job of manager at the Castle Brit.


Managers’ are a vulnerable breed. They promise much. But few deliver. This little poem is in two halves: the first half briefly outlines the tenuous relationship between owners and their boardrooms vis-à-vis managers; the second half is in two parts and picks up on the humour of Stone Valiant’s & Paul T Vale’s posts dated 10th and 11th October respectively.

Take Away Manager

They come and go as seasons do
With the promise there are better things to come,
It’s ring out the old, ring in the new,
As they prepare us for that well earned winning run.

They bring with them the message that nothing but success
Is just around the corner as they speak,
And they tell us with a smile they will hear of nothing less
Until the job is done and the mission is complete.

Their arrivals are announced with style and much ado
That they’ve come to share the dream deep in our souls
Of reaching for the play-offs, and decent ‘Cup runs too,
No stone will be unturned to reach those goals.

Some were football heroes, others Legends of our past,
Now they’re here to take us back to glory days,
‘Everyone will be included, everyone will have a task,
And in no time it is back to winning ways’.

They’re here to strike a balance between our hopes and fears,
That our future’s one of bright, not of bleak,
But their tenure can be brief, sometimes ending up in tears,
For survival is at best from week to week.

Some leave us with our blessing, but most will have no choice
As the owners and the boardrooms plot demise
To blame the hapless culprits with a chorus of one voice
And send them on their way without the fond good-byes.

Some will do the ‘dirty’ to keep the upper hand
When they take the quick way out for other climes,
But when they leave without a word to members in the stand
Their behaviour will be seen as the worst of football crimes.

This happened to our neighbours at the Castle Brit,
When Cotterill hit the road for Sunderland,
So Paul T Vale announced he’s putting in for it,
That his CV was updated and ready in his hand.


This is where Stone Valiant, in a contemplative post,
Gave a short and sharp response as to why
Our exiled boy in Middlesex, who really is the most,
Would not make first base, would not qualify.

For one you have sincerity, you’re a real genuine bloke,
And one who has some knowledge of the game,
But the Stokies in the ‘Castle will say you have no hope
For them endearing charm is nothing but a pain.

On top of which, my Valiant friend, you know which way is up,
You can spot a first team player from ten yards,
And to keep him hale and hearty, to keep him fit enough,
You’ll put him on a healthy diet without the harmful lard.

When it comes to football rules your pedigree is sound
And there’s no doubt that you will make a super boss,
But the owners of the parallel troughs in the Hanford ground
Wouldn’t know the difference, or couldn’t give a toss.

You’re a man who will insist to always kick the ball
Than see the opposition writhe in pain,
You’ll demand the highest standard, your players will walk tall
As you take them onto glory and other football fame.

Perhaps the time is right for your next career move,
But a future at the ‘Castle just wont do,
In any case there’s nothing that you really have to prove
Because you’re from Port Vale, a Valiant through and through.


Paul T Vale was pleased Stone Valiant took the time
To leave a his personal thoughts of concern,
But says he’ll be a manager some day down the line
For it’s simply one of waiting for his turn.

In any case, Paul tells us, his career is on the up,
And the news just to hand simply took his breath away,
After ten years cleaning tables of waste and plastic cups
It’s promotion to the tills, so it’s worth his while to stay.

He knows he’d be a fool to think about the Brit
When his place is really in the fast food trade,
In the last ten years or so he’s made a go of it
And in another ten he will truly have it made.

Paul thanked his Valiant friend and says he sees the light
And Valiants everywhere can rest at ease,
But before this verse is ended, I wonder if I might
Place my order for a burger – and a cup of coffee please?

Barry Edge
Perth, Western Australia
October 25, 2002


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