Billy Briscoe (1898-1994) played for Port Vale from 1918 to 1930. His granddaughter, Leigh Briscoe, wants to share with us a four part story about a Ford Escort and a BMW…
“After years of me being perfectly happy with my old Ford Escort, my husband surprised me with a BMW for my birthday. But the kids still walk to school.
I drove that ‘Escort car
For over fifteen years
And I loved it more than words could ever say,
A trusty little chariot
That rarely let me down,
It stood the test of time in every way.
It took me far and wide,
All over London Town,
It really was a super little car,
And I was always happy
To drive it anywhere
For as motoring goes it truly was a star.
It carried all our shopping
And it carried all our beers
Plus it took our kids to parties and to sport,
It carried us to work,
To social functions too
And for value it’s the best we’ve ever bought.
It was dinted here and there
With scratches one or two
But rarely did we reach for wrench or tool,
When standing in the traffic
Waiting for the lights to change
The ‘Escort car would always keep its cool.
One day to my surprise
My hubby bought for me
A birthday gift that took my breath away,
A little ‘Bee ‘Em double ‘U
With this greeting on a card
‘Lots of love from me on this your special day’
But had the truth been known
Of all that lay ahead
I’d still be driving ‘round in that ‘Escort car of mine,
My insurance it has tripled,
New parts a fortune cost,
Plus the ‘Beemer overheats in traffic all the time.
It isn’t as reliable
As that scratched and dinted car
And those around me know I’m less than stoked,
And the many calls I’ve made
Have annoyed the ‘Double A
‘Cause my ‘Roadside’ membership has been revoked,
To say I was annoyed
At the way they’ve treated me
It’s a wonder I’ve not broken down in tears,
And did they really care
When mentioning to them
I’d been a loyal member for over twenty years?
My story’s almost told,
But just before I go
There’s an update on the ‘Escort that we sold,
Our neighbours’ just returned
From Le Tour de South of France
And when we heard their story it fairly left me cold.
They’d travelled far and wide
Without a single hitch –
Two thousand and five hundred miles complete,
Whilst here I was at home
My ‘Beemer breaking down
When driving to the shops at corner of our street.
My friends have said to me
Your car is for the pimps
And my kids plead loud and long not to ride,
I guess they’ve got a point
And I know just how they feel –
Because riding in our ‘Beemer does nothing for our pride.
April 29, 2004