International mens day

[boslemportvale91]

Apologies if this isn't allowed to be posted. Just saw this on social media earlier and thought what an important message it is especially in this pandemic. I've said before but I really do think fans not going the football games can be a massive decline in mental health. Alot of us use this as a break from the weekly stresses of work and life. I'm not afraid to admit I really struggled in the first lockdown especially not working like many others no doubt. Take care of yourselves gents and as the old vale saying goes. Keep the faith ! 

 

[Andyregs]

Couldn’t agree more. A really important message. 
I was going to post this on ‘the ale and the vale’ thread, but I think it fits here. A few weeks ago one of the lads on it talked about his mental health. And I thought it was great how open he was, and the tone of the conversation was ‘it’s normal to talk about’. In the same way they would openly talk about breaking a leg for example. Its not taboo to talk about, or a sign of weakness. And the more people who speak up, the less stigma others feels about talking about their mental health. 

[For Us All]

Another group who are really struggling to cope are those who are deaf and those who are hard of hearing.

The wearing of masks has really restricted their lines of communication and their ability to lip read.

[Conrad]

58 minutes ago, For Us All said:

Another group who are really struggling to cope are those who are deaf and those who are hard of hearing.

The wearing of masks has really restricted their lines of communication and their ability to lip read.

Agree with this 100%.

[boslemportvale91]

A football forum is probably not really the best place to post this but I can imagine a lot of people are feeling like this now and with lockdown in full force again it's a really difficult time. Mods feel free to delete this if it isn't allowed. 

Like many others my mental health has massively been affected. I suffer from depression and anxiety which is a constant battle day to day. When I'm working it's not as bad as my mind is focused. However these past few days have been really bad for myself personally to the point where I ended up in hospital yesterday with a severe panic attack which I thought was a heart attack. Luckily I have a great set of friends and family who support me and now waiting to start therapy again. 

I used to bottle this up and still often do on certain subjects which I'm working on to fix. I'm still not a hundred percent and still incredibly low but I'm glad I've reached out before it got really bad again. 

Anyone on here struggling,please don't suffer in silence. Even if you can't talk to family or friends there are some great charities like samaritans who basically saved my life last year. 

I may not know you but I'm always free for a message or talk if anyone needs it. 

 

[Andyregs]

31 minutes ago, boslemportvale91 said:

A football forum is probably not really the best place to post this but I can imagine a lot of people are feeling like this now and with lockdown in full force again it's a really difficult time. Mods feel free to delete this if it isn't allowed. 

Like many others my mental health has massively been affected. I suffer from depression and anxiety which is a constant battle day to day. When I'm working it's not as bad as my mind is focused. However these past few days have been really bad for myself personally to the point where I ended up in hospital yesterday with a severe panic attack which I thought was a heart attack. Luckily I have a great set of friends and family who support me and now waiting to start therapy again. 

I used to bottle this up and still often do on certain subjects which I'm working on to fix. I'm still not a hundred percent and still incredibly low but I'm glad I've reached out before it got really bad again. 

Anyone on here struggling,please don't suffer in silence. Even if you can't talk to family or friends there are some great charities like samaritans who basically saved my life last year. 

I may not know you but I'm always free for a message or talk if anyone needs it. 

 

A message board with loads of blokes who don’t talk about this stuff enough is a great place to post it. and as much as we are sometimes d*cks to each other on here, I’ve no doubt the vast majority are just a quick pm away if anyone needed to talk or chat. I think it’s such an important issue, so keep speaking up. There will be people here who do suffer from mental health issues who will read it, even if they don’t feel they can contribute. 
And if anyone is reading who is struggling:

https://www.brighter-futures.org.uk/staffordshire-mental-health-helpline/

https://www.samaritans.org

https://www.combined.nhs.uk/our-services/adult-community/crisis-care-centre/

put these numbers in your phone (under a name you’ll remember if you’re worried someone might notice), some you can even text. 

[Santa]

Self-help reading might not be everyone's cup of tea but here are two books I would recommend:

How To Be Human - Ruby Wax

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A **** - Mark Manson

[Andyregs]

Not read it but seen this recommended to:

https://www.waterstones.com/book/reasons-to-stay-alive/matt-haig/9781782116820

[boslemportvale91]

Will definitely be giving some audio books a listen. Something I've struggled with for years is techniques and coping mechanisms with how to deal with anxiety/panic attacks.

[boslemportvale91]

14 minutes ago, Nofinikea said:

This is indeed an important subject.  Being open about it carries its burden also because often people without meaning to, define you by the illness.  By that I mean, sometimes when you <ovf censored> up people will excuse it with whatever condition you have and that's a dangerous place because it can lead to people not taking responsibility for how they behave.

How our brains are wired and how we react to things is not our fault, but we are responsible none the less.  The battle with certain conditions is constantly trying to be a better person, only to keep undermining yourself.  Its exhausting, frustrating and humiliating.  But, its not impossible and it takes a lot of work, some serious lifestyle choices and time.  You need to be compassionate with yourself when you fall whilst still accepting responsibility.  Slowly, it gets better, slowly you fall less often and slowly you gain control over the illness which will always be there.

Top tip for anybody who suffers and you would think its common sense but its surprising how many of us lie to ourselves about the effects...

Stop drinking alcohol.  Do that and watch the quality of your life improve almost immediately.

Its not rocket science.  If you suffer with a mental illness, consuming anything that is mind altering is not going to help.

Keep talking, keep fighting and keep believing that however bad you feel today, it is only temporary and it will get better.

Yeah alcohol is a massive factor for me. The only benefit of lockdown was the pubs shutting , obviously this is a bad thing for the industry and the people working but more of a benefit for me personally. By no means I'm an alcoholic just simply a lad who liked the odd few pints after a game. I don't really drink at home because I don't enjoy it. I don't drink like i used to and pretty much done in after four-five pints. The hangovers are brutal though. We used call them comedown Mondays because many of us would feel the horrible effects. Doesn't help working in hospitality for over ten years being around booze and stress all the time. Many time I've fancied a pint and even brought some beers in ready but stopped myself last minute. Four weeks now without a drop even with the vale results! 

I've also cut massively down on Caffeine. I couldn't function without several coffees in the morning but this caused me severe palpations. 

 

I just wanna thank everyone who has commented and suggested ideas in this thread. I was dreading putting this up as I still find it difficult to speak up when I'm struggling. I'm trying though 

[Santa]

One thing I will suggest is, look into breathing exercises and find one that works for you. 

Make a playlist. Whether that's downbeat, ambient, classical, whatever. 

 

[toyahw]

At the end of day, none of this rubbish helps. If you are depressed you have to learn to deal with it. Advice from people who have no idea what it is like, never suffered from it, is meaningless. Any idea that some tape or a bit of "mindfullness" hocus pocus just makes things worse. 

Take one day at a time, and try to take pleasure in something every day. That is what my shrink tells me. Easier said than done. But you have to try.

[boslemportvale91]

9 minutes ago, toyahw said:

At the end of day, none of this rubbish helps. If you are depressed you have to learn to deal with it. Advice from people who have no idea what it is like, never suffered from it, is meaningless. Any idea that some tape or a bit of "mindfullness" hocus pocus just makes things worse. 

Take one day at a time, and try to take pleasure in something every day. That is what my shrink tells me. Easier said than done. But you have to try.

I have to respectively disagree with some of that mate. Obviously every one is different and wired differently but for me these tapes and videos help. I don't enjoy them but they help me control my breathing to a point where I can calm myself and slow everything down when its all to much. I wouldn't say speaking to people is seeking advice but rather a ear to hear you out or shoulder to cry on if you will someone that isn't judging you. Like halving a chat with a random in the pub. 

Again that's just how I feel. Everyone is different and I do agree taking it a day at a time 

[toyahw]

9 minutes ago, boslemportvale91 said:

I have to respectively disagree with some of that mate. Obviously every one is different and wired differently but for me these tapes and videos help. I don't enjoy them but they help me control my breathing to a point where I can calm myself and slow everything down when its all to much. I wouldn't say speaking to people is seeking advice but rather a ear to hear you out or shoulder to cry on if you will someone that isn't judging you. Like halving a chat with a random in the pub. 

Again that's just how I feel. Everyone is different and I do agree taking it a day at a time 

Fair enough mate. You are right there. Would not argue with any of that. What works for you works. It is not a one size fits all solution. Perhaps I was a bit too dismissive based on my own experience.

[Andyregs]

24 minutes ago, toyahw said:

At the end of day, none of this rubbish helps. If you are depressed you have to learn to deal with it. Advice from people who have no idea what it is like, never suffered from it, is meaningless. Any idea that some tape or a bit of "mindfullness" hocus pocus just makes things worse. 

Take one day at a time, and try to take pleasure in something every day. That is what my shrink tells me. Easier said than done. But you have to try.

Probably the worst possible advice anyone can give someone with mental health issues. ‘Deal with it’, ‘pull yourself together’. There are lots of things people can do to help. Talking therapy has proven success. And everyone is different. Just because something doesn’t come in a pill doesn’t mean it’s worthless. And I’m someone who doesn’t like ‘fluff’.