Match Thread - Port Vale v Tranmere Rovers

[ollyandpatch]

High Lane this morning at 8.45 it was - 4 and bloody cold.

[ollyandpatch]

High Lane this morning at 8.45 it was - 4 and bloody cold. Top temperature today 1. There are a few more pitch inspections taking place.

[Rampant Zebra]

Yeah it benefits the club and Smurf. Doesn't change the freezing temperatures overnight and the fact that Crewe postponed their game before we did.

 

Whereas we waited until we failed to sign a manager and some decent players before we postponed our game....

[Seamus O'Wye]

For those who seriously doubt the wisdom of the decision to postpone today's game, I hear our beloved (NOT) owner has arranged special tours of the ground and pitch at 11am/12pm/1pm/2pm/3pm...

 

1. Entrance fee... £1 but rising by £1 each hour so that it will be £5 at 3pm.

2. Drinks will be available - usual tepid tea/coffee £1.50

3. Pies - lukewarm centre and cold, rockhard crust £2.50. Hot pies, like we get everywhere else, are £3.00. That's if there are any left after 11.30.

4. Heated cushions for those daft enough to want to sit in their seat for a few nostalgic minutes...£1.00 for each 5 minutes.

5. Crampons can be hired if you wish to climb up to the back of the Railway Stand. Not needed, but any thing to make money, hey.

6. A chance to meet some of our new players £5.00. £1 returned for each one you can recognize - maximum returns limited to £1.

7. A chance to fill that vacant spot on our subs bench... £10 ...£20 if you actually get brought on.

8. A raffle will take place to determine our next manager...£5 per tkt, though a rumour still persists that each tkt will have D.Pugh's name on it

9. Ski hire to get you back down Hamil Rd to the pubs in Burslem £10. hand the skis back in at the Bulls Head. Bob will know what to do with them, but any leftover skis can be shoved up our owner's fat backside for an extra £5.

10. Your whole experience (good or bad) will be recorded and will be available on CD for just £10.99. If you want your CD to include last Friday night's shenanigans in lurid detail, that will of course be an extra £10.

 

Oh sorry, I forgot to mention that all proceeds will go in the owner's back pocket, right next to those spare skis.

Enjoy.